I still tend to be the quiet one in the corner, so can identify with much of this, Sharon. Beautifully told. Love your hen/stag do photo!
Housekeeping query: your posts arrive in my email inbox but don't show up in my inbox on the app. (My settings are to receive both ways.) Hate to think you're missing out on readers because of an unticked checkbox! (Think there's one when you publish asking if you want to send by email, app or both, but of course I can't find it now!)
Thanks so much Wendy - I’m glad you enjoyed. And thanks for the heads up, re. the inbox. I’ll look into that. I struggled today as I opted for an English accent text read voice, but ended up with an American lady! Substack tech support are as baffled as I am!
Hi Sharon - me too on your posts. They’re not showing up on my app inbox and I have to search for you to find them.
I very much enjoyed this. Love the converse. I think we grew up in an era where stereotypes were still forced upon us. I finally feel like we can relax a bit more.
You have captured so much of how I feel about female friendships Sharon. I too collected snails and ants and have been ridiculed by my parents for it ever since! Sometimes reading your writing is like rediscovering parts of myself.
Love this perspective Sharon - I sometimes wonder what I would have been like as a non spotty, permed-hair, fixed-braced teenager but thankfully I was also in a single sex school and didn't have to think about this too much! Glad Five Star got you through!!
Hi Sharon, oh how I love your humor, style and unbecoming of all things, traditional, so to speak. I absolutely resonate with so many things that you just wrote about. I’ve never been able to make the small talk. It’s awkward, but I have learned to get a few laughs now and then or at least it happens
Love the sneakers
I can absolutely not myself in a wedding dress, but if I could wear sneakers maybe.
You gotta love the nuns !
I have to tell u one story toward the end of high school, which I found overwhelming in the system. For a very short time, I had three friends and all of our names were Nancy. I don’t know how that ever happened, but it inspired me to go out because nobody would believe us when we introduced ourselves.
It’s so funny as I find the opposite experience I’ve had with you , you seem such a natural at bonding with females , you have given me so much advice and support on substack, you are soooo friendly and even my sister has commented on your comments on my stories, saying she loves
Oops never finished , — what you say ☺️ I’m the opposite, I would love male friends but I’ve never had them ! I dont know why ? I’ve always been one of the gals !? Great post Sharon 😁
That’s so lovely of you to say Francis. I genuinely love the connections I’ve made on Substack. As for male friends, I lucked out on finding some good ones, who remain my mates 30 years on, but I still envy women who have strong enduring bonds with others.
Another great post. It's reminded me that I had more male friends than female, at one time. I didn't really click with the girls in Halls, in neighbouring rooms, and felt tolerated rather than liked by them. Instead, I used to have chaps from other courses hang out with me. I did have a boyfriend at Poly, and there was (mostly) nothing more than friendship with the boys I knew. Some guys don't get the friendship without benefits thing, though. Interesting, though, isn't it? I went to an all girls school, too, and just really liked the chance to make friends with the opposite sex, starting with a Saturday job in Woolworths.
Wedding-wise, I married young the first time round, and didn't want the froth and veil that my mother wanted to see me in. I used to wear clogs and plimsolls, and wanted to wear white clogs with my cotton dress. I didn't get my way. I really would have loved the clatter on the parquet floor of the church as I walked up the aisle. I didn't, however wear a veil.
It takes maturity to embrace your genuine inner freak, I think. I've always preferred mixed company of the sexes, we bring the best out of each other that way.
Thanks Gillian. I was loathe to sound somewhat superior in talking about my dislike of small talk - in fact I envy women who can chat away about anything (my hairdresser excels!) I just don’t think I’m alone in finding it pretty excruciating. To the point, that if it goes on too long, I get slightly hysterical and have to fight the urge to laugh!!!
I think I was quite different from the other boys. Always in trouble and buggered off to join the Navy at 16. It led to a life of adventure though and I wouldn't change a thing.
So interesting to hear about your experiences and conclusions. I was always bad at bonding and a bit of a drifter in that sense. At primary school I had both male and female friends. I never felt comfortable in those tribal "all girls together" activities unfortunately, but once a lovely thing happened that I will never forget. I was in my twenties and had started work in an office having moved to a new area. One of the women there invited me out with "the girls" - a large group of young women who glammed up on a Fri/Sat night and went on the town. Although I was clearly not at all a good fit for that, she always invited me even if I declined, and I did go a couple of times. That was so kind of her. I was lonely at the time, and it took me quite a while to build any kind of social life, so I really appreciated that lifeline. I have never forgotten it.
Thanks for this, Sharon. I empathise with such a lot of it and it brought back some memories! Great pics too!
Thanks for reading Jules. Yes, God bless those wonderful women that see those who struggle with group interaction, but persist in bringing us out of our shells!
I still tend to be the quiet one in the corner, so can identify with much of this, Sharon. Beautifully told. Love your hen/stag do photo!
Housekeeping query: your posts arrive in my email inbox but don't show up in my inbox on the app. (My settings are to receive both ways.) Hate to think you're missing out on readers because of an unticked checkbox! (Think there's one when you publish asking if you want to send by email, app or both, but of course I can't find it now!)
Thanks so much Wendy - I’m glad you enjoyed. And thanks for the heads up, re. the inbox. I’ll look into that. I struggled today as I opted for an English accent text read voice, but ended up with an American lady! Substack tech support are as baffled as I am!
I’ve also got that glitch with the read-aloud voice, Sharon! Chose Victoria (English) but got a US voice anyway. I think Jules had the same issue.
Glad it’s not just me, but how frustrating eh?! At least it’s no longer Jon Hamm!
Your second email did show up in my app inbox as well, Sharon. Yay!
Thanks again for making me aware Wendy x
Hi Sharon - me too on your posts. They’re not showing up on my app inbox and I have to search for you to find them.
I very much enjoyed this. Love the converse. I think we grew up in an era where stereotypes were still forced upon us. I finally feel like we can relax a bit more.
I’m kicking myself for not noticing Margaret. I appreciate you seeking me out. I agree with you, we can relax a bit now!
Really enjoyed this, Sharon! Look forward to reading more of your posts.
Thanks so much Petra. I’m enjoying your work.
You have captured so much of how I feel about female friendships Sharon. I too collected snails and ants and have been ridiculed by my parents for it ever since! Sometimes reading your writing is like rediscovering parts of myself.
Michelle that’s so lovely to hear. Just look at us misfits now! 😉
Love this perspective Sharon - I sometimes wonder what I would have been like as a non spotty, permed-hair, fixed-braced teenager but thankfully I was also in a single sex school and didn't have to think about this too much! Glad Five Star got you through!!
Hey Faith - thanks for reading. I’m glad you enjoyed - and yes, you can always rely on Five Star!!
Loved this shaz! ❤️
Ahhh thanks Daisy 😘
Hi Sharon, oh how I love your humor, style and unbecoming of all things, traditional, so to speak. I absolutely resonate with so many things that you just wrote about. I’ve never been able to make the small talk. It’s awkward, but I have learned to get a few laughs now and then or at least it happens
Love the sneakers
I can absolutely not myself in a wedding dress, but if I could wear sneakers maybe.
You gotta love the nuns !
I have to tell u one story toward the end of high school, which I found overwhelming in the system. For a very short time, I had three friends and all of our names were Nancy. I don’t know how that ever happened, but it inspired me to go out because nobody would believe us when we introduced ourselves.
That’s hilarious Prajna. What are the chances of Nancy squared?!!
I know! Her name was Miguel, but she called herself Lil but everyone knew her as Nancy. Those were the days.
Brilliant 😀
It’s so funny as I find the opposite experience I’ve had with you , you seem such a natural at bonding with females , you have given me so much advice and support on substack, you are soooo friendly and even my sister has commented on your comments on my stories, saying she loves
Oops never finished , — what you say ☺️ I’m the opposite, I would love male friends but I’ve never had them ! I dont know why ? I’ve always been one of the gals !? Great post Sharon 😁
That’s so lovely of you to say Francis. I genuinely love the connections I’ve made on Substack. As for male friends, I lucked out on finding some good ones, who remain my mates 30 years on, but I still envy women who have strong enduring bonds with others.
Another great post. It's reminded me that I had more male friends than female, at one time. I didn't really click with the girls in Halls, in neighbouring rooms, and felt tolerated rather than liked by them. Instead, I used to have chaps from other courses hang out with me. I did have a boyfriend at Poly, and there was (mostly) nothing more than friendship with the boys I knew. Some guys don't get the friendship without benefits thing, though. Interesting, though, isn't it? I went to an all girls school, too, and just really liked the chance to make friends with the opposite sex, starting with a Saturday job in Woolworths.
Wedding-wise, I married young the first time round, and didn't want the froth and veil that my mother wanted to see me in. I used to wear clogs and plimsolls, and wanted to wear white clogs with my cotton dress. I didn't get my way. I really would have loved the clatter on the parquet floor of the church as I walked up the aisle. I didn't, however wear a veil.
Clogs would’ve been fantastic! Not sure about dancing in them though 🤔 Thanks Maria, I’m glad you enjoyed. There’s many of us kindred spirits on here.
It takes maturity to embrace your genuine inner freak, I think. I've always preferred mixed company of the sexes, we bring the best out of each other that way.
Agreed!
"Small talk still feels like running a marathon with a pebble in my shoe..."
I'm right there with you. How do people know what to say? How do they manage to find so much to say?
Love the photos. Wish I'd had a pair of trainers like that for my wedding.
How are the chickens doing?
Also, the chickens are good thanks. I haven’t forgotten the pics, it’s just been heavy rain here (again) the last few days 🙂 To come!
Thanks Gillian. I was loathe to sound somewhat superior in talking about my dislike of small talk - in fact I envy women who can chat away about anything (my hairdresser excels!) I just don’t think I’m alone in finding it pretty excruciating. To the point, that if it goes on too long, I get slightly hysterical and have to fight the urge to laugh!!!
You didn’t sound superior at all. You sounded like a writer!
THE best compliment 🙂
I think I was quite different from the other boys. Always in trouble and buggered off to join the Navy at 16. It led to a life of adventure though and I wouldn't change a thing.
I enjoyed sharing your memories. Lovely!
Thank-you matey! I enjoy reading your stories too.
So interesting to hear about your experiences and conclusions. I was always bad at bonding and a bit of a drifter in that sense. At primary school I had both male and female friends. I never felt comfortable in those tribal "all girls together" activities unfortunately, but once a lovely thing happened that I will never forget. I was in my twenties and had started work in an office having moved to a new area. One of the women there invited me out with "the girls" - a large group of young women who glammed up on a Fri/Sat night and went on the town. Although I was clearly not at all a good fit for that, she always invited me even if I declined, and I did go a couple of times. That was so kind of her. I was lonely at the time, and it took me quite a while to build any kind of social life, so I really appreciated that lifeline. I have never forgotten it.
Thanks for this, Sharon. I empathise with such a lot of it and it brought back some memories! Great pics too!
Thanks for reading Jules. Yes, God bless those wonderful women that see those who struggle with group interaction, but persist in bringing us out of our shells!
I'd certainly raise a large glass of Prosecco to them! 😉
Haha! It had better be in a glass the size of a small child’s head! 😀
What else? 🤣
This was such a great read!
Thanks Elizabeth. Glad you enjoyed.